ache:
Paramore - Here We Go Again (Acoustic)
Big Guy; <3
This year has been one of the hardest years of my life. Of course, it does not top 2007, but it’s getting pretty close. You know, after Jesse died, I thought I wouldn’t be able to make it. Everyday was a struggle to survive. I didn’t wanna live. I mean, my family wasn’t there for me, my friends only cared about themselves and their own problems to even realize I was dying, my best friend was gone—forever, and the One person I thought I could count on, broke my heart. There really didn’t seem like anything worth living for. But it turned out that throughout all the fighting with my parents, running away, getting in trouble with the po-po, depression, cutting, post-traumatic stress, and anorexia, You didn’t leave me. For that, I’m grateful. I really am sorry for everything that I put everyone through, especially You. But I’ve been lying; I thought it would be better that way. But hiding how I truly feel has gotten me nowhere. I know you already know what I’m feeling and what I’m thinking, but I need to let this out.. Everyday, I wonder, why? Why do You stand by my side? Why do You deal with me? Why don’t You just let me go, and give up on me? I really don’t think that I’m worth fighting for. Some of the closest people in my life have proven it to me. I’ve done a pretty good job at messing everything up, it’s what I’m good at. That, and pushing people away..